I was on the Bermuda Triangle Night Tour, after all. People disappear in the Triangle all the time, right?

Then Captain Paul Fox announced they had free rum swizzles and I forgot to be worried.

You might expect a night-time boat tour to be educational. You'd expect it to be beautiful. But the absolute best surprise on Fantasea's tour is that it's funny. Like belly-achingly funny.

Captain Paul Fox and Seabiscuit (yes, that's his name), had the entire tour group rolling with laughter with their jokes about both Bermuda and the tourists that come to visit us.

We left Dockyard at 8pm, just in time to watch the sun set over the Clock Tower Mall. The water was calm, a sea breeze was blowing and the promise of free swizzles hung in the air.

Dockyard history

Captain Paul Fox

Captain Fox explained a bit about the history of Dockyard as we headed out to Mangrove Bay. Dockyard was built by the British to "keep an eye on the Americans" he explained, "before we turned it into a shopping centre". He told us how Dockyard was one of the most difficult naval bases to be on, because it was between America and England.

But history wasn't the only thing the Captain schooled us on. "Why is Bermuda so pricey?" he asked. One tourist had the right answer: because everything's imported.

"You're right," Fox quipped. "Bermuda only makes two things, rum and people - usually in that order!"

A word of advice if you're planning to take this tour, especially early in the year. Bring a jacket, because it can get cold out on the water. Oh, and when you get on the boat, never, never ask where the glass bottom is. If the word 'bottom' doesn't clue you in, you probably don't deserve to be on the tour.

After a drive under Bermuda's biggest bridge, we arrived at our viewing site. It didn't look like much from above - some old piece of ship sticking up, lots of water. But then we traipsed downstairs where the ocean floor was lit up like Christmas.

Dreadlocks

Seabiscuit took over as narrator while Captain Fox stayed upstairs to steer us over the best parts of the sea floor.

He explained the names of a few of the corals we were seeing, one shaped like a brain, another purple fan-shaped coral and another which looked like "dreadlocks". I won't give away their names in case you take the tour, but let's just say whoever's in charge of naming coral has a bad case of stating the obvious.

They shone really bright lights on the sea floor.

And did you know that the beautiful pink sand that covers our beaches looks that way cause it has passed through the digestive system of a parrotfish? Yeah. Think about that next time you run your toes through the sand.

The fish under the glass seemed just as interested in us as we were in them - I swear I had a little connection with a snapper as we made eye contact through the glass. Then he swam away.

The fish watched us while we watched them.

Seabiscuit was full of information about all of Bermuda's ocean life, but honestly I was too distracted by the beauty beneath us to remember everything. You'll have to take the tour to get all the details.

The swizzles came out after we finished looking at the fish - they didn't want any drunk people falling onto the glass - and we took a slow cruise back into Dockyard.

The boat stops near the Vixen shipwreck.

So just in case I didn't already make it clear, this boat tour has everything - education, comedy, amazing views and… free swizzles. It's a great way to spend a summer evening.